you'll be ok
well i talked to hanna today and medyo napaisip ako sa sinabi nia saken. i was asking her to help me forget about you and then she asked me ano ba talaga. its not about kung sino ung pinili mo or kung kanino ka dapat magstay..its about kung kanina ka masaya..sabi nia na it was a choice. kasi whatever happens may isa na masasaktan at may isa na magiging ok. sabi nia i choose erick pra maging okei. and pinili kitang saktan. tama kaya xa?
i didnt intend to. i didnt mean it to be like that. akala ko na i was making you both okei. kasi si erick will be fine dahil nag stay ako tpos ikaw nman you can move on with your life. ill just keep everything to myself. at least maayos kayong dalawa diba. and ayoko na guluhin pa. tama na yung ganito na nangyari. ill stick with him. im feeling guilty too kasi he's doing everything right na. he's treating me the best he could tpos ako andito iniisip kita. im being unfair again. im glad you're starting to move on. i just hope i can say the same for myself. i didnt realize how caught up i was with you until now. pero gaya nga ng sabi ni hanna. i should let go din. ituon ko daw ung buong oras ko kay erick. yea ill try. pero i just want to let you know i didnt mean to hurt you.i didnt choose to stay with erick para masaktan ka. and im not asking you to leave me dahil ayoko sayo. alam kong alam mo yan. i cant stay like this every night. i have to move on whatever it takes. its good na ind na rin tayo nagkikita pa. that will be easier for you and me. ayoko na ng magulo. ill just keep it to myself.
Posted by phoebi at 11:25 PM::
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1 Comments:
i knew my only purpose was to help. but i could not stand to pass the opportunity at the time. yes, i admit i was hurt a lot, but i also knew the struggle that you had to face (and the choices that were at stake). That was why forgiveness came easy (for my part), i understood well what your situation was. Although that was the case, i still held on (to your surprise, i came back 3 times), with the impression that you were looking for a way out and that you still needed me.unsure and undecided. So i made myself oblivious to other things just so i could devote my time and undivided attention to you. I tried hard to offer my hand everytime you needed me, even though i had other important things to do. I still pushed myself to help even though at times it was a hassle. I tried hard to make you smile, evn though it was a struggle for me at times (for being too serious) I kept telling myself, "she loves you". So every effort i made felt good because i was there for you, at least that was what i perceived as my purpose.But i never truly asked for anything more except your love and kindness, and your company. But as time came, i realized you were struggling with whom to give your time and energy to. I could not leave you and did not want to leave you, because i was scared to lose you. even knowing that he's still there. But at the moment i saw you were struggling again. I made a decision to leave, I could have made the effort to keep things the way they were, but i did not want you to bother you anymore. Even if it felt like i just gave up on my most priced possession, just so you dont have to bother with me any longer. It felt as if I was a slither burried under your skin, a strain to your relation with him. at times you forget about me, at times your words hurt me a lot, but were only human and even though you were like that i still loved you. I do still care for you. im still here for you to run to when you need help.i dont want you to think bad of me, i want you to remember me as the friend who never left your side.
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