im getting tired of this

wala pang one week pero aning nanaman ako. im scared that i might be pregnant again. naaawa ako sa katawan ko kasi mahihirapan ako if i would have to take another abortion. plus it can increase the possibility of complications and i cannot risk that. pano if it keeps getting worse? dapat talga pinigilan ko yung sarili ko dapat hindi kami nagsex until the 2 weeks was up. now im just worried. im worried na baka ung pre cum nia may contain enough sperm to get me pregnant or that i took the morning after pill too late or that the condom slipped and the white goo around his penis was actually sperm. plus im not feeling well, im beginning to get crumps and ang nakakatakot pa is hindi ko alam what might be causing it. it might be due to the abortion, menstrual period, infection, or that i might be pregnant ot it might just be the birth control pills. out of all these, im most worried about pregnancy. the bad thing pa is wala akong makausap na expert tungkol sa issue who could tell me what to do next or at least give me an accurate diagnosis para hindi ako nag-guguess. AND ngayon medyo dinudugo na ako. what's happening? ayokong magworry kasi prang lagi nlng akong nagwoworry. lagi nalang akong nagiisip ng worst scenarios that could happen to me. before the pregnancy, i was depressed and really worried and hopeless and all that tpos after the abortion ganun pa rin ba? im tired of always worrying. im getting stressed even more than i am kapag may school. i dont like this one bit. and to top it all, my "support" person is not so supportive after all. parang feeling ko tinataboy nia ako. bakit ngayon pa?kung kelan kailangan ko ng someone? ano kayang ibig sabihin nun? is this god's way of saying that i should get used to being away from him and that i should start leaving my life without him again? i dont know. ayoko na magisip. as much as i want to change and give him the space he wants, i cant im sorry hunny. i love you so much please huwag mo naman akong itaboy kasi kailangan kita ngayon please kahit mag acting ka lang. please hunny act like you care naman kahit konti lang. pls. im really worried. i need to relax. ..