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jes: ok..hehehehe
jes: aw phiboink namis tuloy kta
n!Na: demanding eh
n!Na: excited?
jes: sarap kurutin bilbil
n!Na: walng hiya ka bilbil ko p tlga namiss mo
n!Na: ahhaha ako rin
jes: naalala ko ung c michelle ung snb mo nga n nahulog n sya e hawak paren nya
jes: i miss u guys
n!Na: lalo na ngaun na wala akong mtinong friendship dito
jes: except c megan
jes: lol
n!Na: natatawa ka magisa hehe
n!Na: kya rin cguro wala ako maxadong kaibigan dito
n!Na: kase naghahanap ako ng tulad nung atin dati
n!Na: pero sobrang wala akong makita
n!Na: iba pa rin tlga pag ung orig haha
jes: hahaha
jes: i know
jes: ako ren nmn dito
jes: wla ako kaibgn
jes: like makita ko cla once a year
jes: pero i dont care
jes: kc ngaun alm ko n n d ako mkkform ng gnun dito
jes: sa ontario pwd pa
jes: pero nmn..narealize ko n ung ibng kaibgn ko sa pinas d ren nmn totoo
n!Na: ganun ata tlga
n!Na: basta feeling ko sobrang alone ako ngaun
n!Na: kasi pati c erick minsan cold sakin
n!Na: hehe but then cge pa rin
jes: hahaha
jes: martyr..i guess it takes something for people in love to move on
jes: ako ren nmn noon mas martyr pa
jes: ei
jes: ssbhn ko pla sau
n!Na: cguro nga
jes: tnwgn ko c kiko
n!Na: kelan?
jes: uhm
jes: like...every satrday for a month
n!Na: bkt?
n!Na: last month?
jes: alm mo nung nmty c ducusin?
n!Na: cno un?
jes: c crispulo ducusin
jes: boys high
jes: kaibgn ni kiko..ksaksama nina blein noon
n!Na: oh tapos
jes: so aun
jes: like nung una..tntry ko sya alalahanin..kaso ang lge pmpsok sa utak ko c kiko
jes: so i was like.."wat da hell.fine il col him..."
jes: so i did ryt
jes: tpos sbe ko lng n gs2 ko gwng ok ung between saamen
n!Na: tpos
jes: tpos narealize ko n cgro lge ko sya naiisp kc pano kng isa samin ang ..mawawala na ren
jes: ayaw ko nmn n mgregret ang isa samen for not fixinf it
n!Na: oh tapos
jes: so aun sbe ko sknya n ok na...na past is past
jes: tpos knkmsta ko..acting like a frend..sbe ko n d2 rin lng ako for him...
jes: tpos ang sbe nya..msya sya dahil meron n c ic..ung ababy nya..pero cla ni karissa..ok lng..but not totaly happy dhl lge daw ngglit sknya kht wlng dahilan
n!Na: haha ano un buntis nanaman?
n!Na: hehe
jes: so sbe ko lng...gnyn tlga mga babae
jes: lol
jes: anyweiz
jes: aun nga.....tpos sbe nya "i dont think shes the one for me....kng may isa na makakatnggp n may anak ako at babalik sya dito..sya parin pipiliin ko
jes: hnd nmn ako manhid not to think n ako un ryt
n!Na: haha tapos ano sabi mo?
jes: pero sbe ko sknya its more complicaed than that....marame n maasasaktan AT N mahal ko tlga c deric and he loves me and does not hurt me as much as he did before...
jes: at n d ko mttnggp na may anak sya and i really dont wana mess up the kids family...
n!Na: tapos ano sabi nia
jes: ayoko nmn n lumaki ung bata asking bkt hnd mgksma parents nya ryt
jes: like tahimik lng sya........
jes: ngsosory.....
jes: sbe oko rin sorry dhl umalis ako
n!Na: haha ganda akla ko ba tapos na yan?
jes: sbe nya ....wla daw ako kslanan....
jes: so aun..like kwentokwento
n!Na: ano wento nia?
jes: skul and stuff
n!Na: ano course nun?
jes: tpos nung last n tmwg ako sbe nya
jes: nung tumawag ka......narealize ko n mahal parin pla kita......lge kta namimiss...lge kta hnhnp.........kaw paren mas mahal ko
jes: nursing..second yr...
jes: sbe ko sknya..mis ko ren ikaw..and i love u ren pero as a frend nlng..and im sorry pero hnd n hihigit dun...
n!Na: tapos
jes: tpos sbe nya d nmn daw sya umaasa..gs2 nya lng ipaalam skn...
n!Na: ano sabi mo
BUZZ!!!
jes: sbe ko hnd n sya pwd umaasa....
jes: and that maybe calling him was wrong....dhl i dont want to lead him on
jes: pero tmtwg ako..pra gawin kmeng ok as frends
jes: pra magbuild ng relationship just as frends
n!Na: well
n!Na: kung ind pa xa nkakamove on
n!Na: cguro ind pa right time para establish ulit ung friendship nio dba?
jes: tpos he asked me...........kng uuwi p daw b ako...sbe ko oo pra mgbakasyon...........................tpos sbe nya...kng uuwe k b gs2 mo mkta c ic...sbe ko never...........
jes: pero hnd nmn cgro...i mean.....maybe naalala nya lng ung noon pero ang totoo nkmove on n nsya....nssbe nya lng..
n!Na: yea
n!Na: well just make sure
n!Na: kasi bka malay mo ind pa rin pla
n!Na: tapos aasa ulti xa sayo gugulo lang lalo relationship nio
jes: hay...sana wag na..i dont know..i jst wana be his frend...like gs2 ko nguusap n ulit kme...
jes: pero as frends..frendly conversation
jes: cgro ok lng magreminice pero na alm nmn n past na
n!Na: bka its too early
jes: wen is the ryt tym then.....................................
jes: maybe lge gnito
jes: n bsta iaaproach ko sya babalik
jes: do u think he stil loves me?
jes: or he ever did love me..for real
n!Na: uu naman he did
n!Na: thats for sure
n!Na: nagstart lang nmn xa magloko after you left eh
n!Na: bka ind lng nagwork ung long distance
jes: yeah......i guess.......
jes: do u think he stil loves me?
n!Na: ewan maybe
n!Na: pero well ive learned na pag lalong pinpilit mo na maging friends kao tapos ind pa xa ready
n!Na: bka lalo lng xa mawala lalo
jes: cno nmn ang pnlit mo
n!Na: tristan
n!Na: kase ind pa xa over sakin noon
jes: hayyyy
n!Na: pero sobrang eager ako na isave ung "friendship"
n!Na: so nagend up na lalo xang lumayo sakin
jes: e iba nmn cgro un dhl andyan ka..u always see him...
n!Na: haha well hindi na ngayon
n!Na: last time i saw him face to face was july ata
jes: i dunno................................
jes: hnd nmn cgro sya mawawala.........
jes: coz we had so much before.........
jes: i dont think we both can just throw that away and forget it..even if we tried..
n!Na: well xempre kalokohang makalimutan nia lahat yun
n!Na: but then un nga gaya nga ng sabi mo ayaw mo macra ung family nia
n!Na: and by calling him bka isipin nia na may pagasa pa ulit kayo
n!Na: pede ka naman maging friend kahit at a distance eh khit ind kau naguusap at nagkwekwentuhan
n!Na: bka kasi magiskandalo nnmn ung aswa nia pag nalaman nia na tinatwagan mo xa
jes: hayyyy
jes: cgro
n!Na: bkt ba haha
jes: pero may aaminin ako sau
n!Na: bat ka ba bothered?
n!Na:
jes: nssktn akong nkkta pix nla..........ewn ko kng bkt
jes: like accept ko na
n!Na: mahal mo p ba?
jes: na cla na...na may anak n cla and that d n pwd
jes: pero nssktn lng ako
n!Na: haha pareho lang naman tayo eh
n!Na: nasasaktan din ako na mkita c tristan with her gf
n!Na: pero aminado ako na ind dahil sa mahal ko xa
n!Na: kundi pride lang ung akin
n!Na: ikaw ba?
jes: yeah but u liked him and maybe u stil do!
n!Na: no pride lang yun
n!Na: naiinis lang ako na wala na sa akin ung attention nia likfe before
jes: ewn......cgro dhl sa past...sa memories..because of the wy we had to go on different paths....i did not exaclty oblige..i was forced to..i mean....wat can i do?e may anak n ung tao.
jes: so kht gs2 pa namin..kht gs2 ko pa noon..........hnd nmn pwdng sarili ko lng isipn ko......
n!Na: cguro nga
n!Na: cguro ur wondering pano kya kapag nagtuloy kayo
n!Na: naiinis ka cguro na isiping kahit kelan ind mo na masasagot un
n!Na: dahil nga may pamilya na ung tao
jes: cgro............maybe..kng d sya ngkaanak.snsktn pren nya ako.........or cgro nakauwi nako dun for vacation
jes: maybe..ang sakit nun phibs.........to wonder..wat if.......but know u can never answer dat.........
jes: even if at the back of ur heart u want to
n!Na: i know haha same thing sakin
n!Na: im never gonna know kung pano pag naging kami
n!Na: ang masakit sakin alam ko na nagwork out sana kani ni tristan
n!Na: kaso sobrang worng timing
jes: hayyy
jes: asar noh
n!Na: kaya nga eh
n!Na: bat kase ganun
n!Na: mkakainis pla magkaroon ng ifs and but and if onlys
jes: and the thing is.......nssktn ko c deric..pero sa loob loob ko snsb ng puso ko n i have to do this
n!Na: cguro ur looking for answers
n!Na: and closure na ren cguro
n!Na: i know i am
jes: cgro.....................
jes: is it wrong to sil think about the past wen u already have ur future laid out
n!Na: haha tell me about it jess
n!Na: pero prang there's no use in thinking about it
n!Na: cguro may mga ganun na never mo na malalaman ung sagot
n!Na: just be happy nlng for him
n!Na: at least msaya na xa sa anak nia
jes: alm mo pa...........na nklimutn ko n nu,ber nya..i looked for it sa mgga letters nya..halos maiyak akong mbsa mga..i love you..."ikaw lng"aantyn kta....
jes: alm mo ung quote na
jes: "u said ur not gonna leave me....u told her that too....ang masakit..sakanya totooo
n!Na: haha i know
n!Na: pero bat mo pahihirapan sarili mo
n!Na: masaya ka n kay deric dba?
jes: oo....................................
jes: i dont know
n!Na: sure?
jes: i guess,....naghahanap lng ako ng bago.....
jes: iba kc relationship namen e
jes: its more like bestfrends.......we can do anything together..we can go to the lbrayr..grocery shopping..just stay at home
jes: we barely kiss and hug
jes: we hold hands yeah....but u know.....
n!Na: unlike kay kiko
n!Na: may sweet xa ganun
jes: kme ni kiko noon.........every chance we get..we wana hug eahc other......
jes: its not that he doesnt wana do it
jes: but its more like.....legal kme masyado...that i doesn feel ryt na...na gwn ung mga un
jes: we r always here sa bahay
jes: were boh broke
jes: were both bc wth skul..........
jes: like noon kme ni kiko evryday nya ako ssnduin
jes: c deric..2 tyms ko lng mkta
n!Na: lalo lang kase mahirap pag icocompare mo cla eh
n!Na: they both have their own personality
n!Na: and pinili mo na c deric
n!Na: so panindigan mo nlng
n!Na: gnyan din ako eh
n!Na: but then lalo lng ako nadedepress pag iniisip ko kung ano ung nawala sakin
n!Na: so y not focus sa kung ano ung meron ako ngaun
jes: i gues so
jes: i know im not being fair
jes: ang hirap lng......kng isipin mong i did not want to let go in the first place
n!Na: but you had to
jes: t ung kay kiko noon..i wanted him.sa una plng...c deric....i guess ung idea of having someone ang mas nangatract skn
n!Na: but then kung tatanungin mo ako
n!Na: mas ok c deric
n!Na: siya yung tipo ng lalaki na pedeng pede mong ipakilala sa magulang
n!Na: at alam mong may ambisyon
n!Na: mhal mo nmn na xa dba?
n!Na: hindi nmn cguro kayo magtatagal ng gnito kung ind
jes: i know
jes: mhal ko sya
jes: sobra
jes: i just cant help remembering kiko
jes: esp wen im having a bad tym with deric
n!Na: normal lang yun
n!Na: gnun din ako eh
n!Na: but then in the end
n!Na: cno pa rin ba ang mas mahal mo?
n!Na: dba
jes: c deric
jes: pero kng knyre
jes: andito c kiko
jes: wat wud i feel?
n!Na: but then wala nga c kiko dba
n!Na: and kahit kelan ind na xa nkakarating dito
n!Na: dahil may pamilya na xa
n!Na: so mas mali nmn cgurong umasa sa knya when clearly alam mong impossible un
jes: alm ko
n!Na: masaya nmn cguro xa sa anak nia
n!Na: ok na yun
n!Na: and ikaw u deserve to be happy din
jes: hayyy
n!Na: wag ka na sad
jes: hehe
n!Na: wag na tayong sad
n!Na: nakakasawa kasing gumising ng umaga na bitter
n!Na: tapos pag matutulog bitter pa rin
n!Na: ang lungkot
n!Na: at least we have deric at erick (matching)
jes: ahahahahaha
n!Na: screw tristan and kiko
n!Na: at least nga ikaw mhal ka pa rin ni kiko
jes: malay mo
jes: panakip butas nitristan brkda mo
n!Na: ind i know him
n!Na: parang gusto ko maging masaya dahil finally nagka gf na xa
n!Na: pero at the same time naiinis ako kasi nangako xa sakin
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Hurt Me Again.mp3

n!Na: sabi nia hindi daw kami bibitaw sa possibilty na magiging kame in the end na cguro worng timing lang talga
n!Na: wala pang sabi sabi
n!Na: bigla nlng may gf na xa at barkada ko pa tlga
n!Na: basta ang dami jessica
n!Na: gusto ko xang sampalin
n!Na: at sigawan
n!Na: bat kasi ganun?
n!Na: .................. sana ind ko nlng xa nakilala
jes: hayyy
jes: malay mo
jes: its his way of getting back at u
jes: maybe he want u to realize u want him after all
jes: maybe umaasa sya n by hurtnig u mas lalapit k sknya
n!Na: xa na kasi mismo umiiwas sakin eh
n!Na: prang totally binura nia ako sa mundo nia
n!Na: na khit magkasalubong kami
n!Na: ind nia ako nakikita
n!Na: prang hangin lang ako
jes: hay
jes: then hes not worth it
jes: hnd lng sya ung pra sau
jes: gnun cgro style ni god
jes: saktan muna tau ng sobra
jes: pra maapreciate ntn ung pra stn
n!Na: cguro nmn nkakahanap pa ako ng kasing perfect nia noh?
n!Na: cguro nmn deserving ako ng tulad nia
n!Na: bitter tuloy ako sa lht ng tao
n!Na: kasi sobrang tanggap na tanggap cla sa barkada namin
n!Na: tapos kami noon literally tristan and me against the world
jes: hayyyyyyyyyy
jes: alm mo
n!Na: tapos napkaweak p ngay nia
jes: hnd lng tlga sya
jes: seriously
n!Na: nadadala xa sa mga cnasabi ng mga tao prang ind nia ako kyang ipaglaban
n!Na: cguro nga
n!Na: how abt erick wat u think?
jes: ewn
jes: wat do u think
n!Na: ewan din
n!Na: basta ind ko tinatali sarili ko sa knya
n!Na: open ako sa idea na hindi xa ung para sakin
jes: yeah
jes: dats gud
n!Na: haha
jes: bkt b kc d mo nlng sya iniwan for tristan
jes: if u tink tristan is a perfect man
n!Na: mahal ko xa
n!Na: prang in my mind si tristan
n!Na: pero in my heart si erick
n!Na: kinda like sau
n!Na: alam mo na si kiko eh mahal mo
n!Na: c deric dhil lng sa gusto mo ng someone
jes: hnd nmn gnun skn
jes: mahal ko clang dlwa
jes: im satsfied with deirc
jes: but i jst cant forget kiko
n!Na: oh ok hehe
n!Na: so ayun nga jess
n!Na: haha ayoko na isipin
n!Na: kung ayaw na nia sakin
n!Na: wel then wag
jes: hehehe
jes: good
jes: maturog kan
n!Na: haha cka met
n!Na: ano ba gnagwa mo?
jes: wla lng
jes: nghahanp ng sumo wrestlers
jes: dba gbe n dyan
jes: i mean late na
n!Na: yea
n!Na: may teaching nga ako bukas eh haha
n!Na: ind ko alam ung teaching plan ko