the last straw....

i lost my fone today...fuck shit!..prang hindi pa sapat ung depressed ako..on top of it all my frustrations dito sa lugar na toh nadagdag pa ung nawalan ako ng fone...i know it myt not seem that big pero may sentimental value kasi ung fone ko na un sakin eh...maybe im careless..oo!..i am careless!...i so hate my life right now!...as in!..my mom is bugging me...screw her...my fucking sister is getting in my way...that bitch!....i just hate my whole life right now!...fuck them!...fuck this place...parang ang hirap2..di ko na alam kung ano na gagawin ko...im hanging by the edge na..konti nalang talaga ang im gonna cruch to the very bottom..nagbre-bhreakdown na ako ngaun...shit!...I HATE EVERYTHING!...taena wala nang nangyayaring mabuti sakin dito as in WALA!...bat ba kasi ako nagpunta dito fuck!...i hate my school..i hate my family..i miss my friends...i want my OLD LIFE back!...screw them all...ayoko na talaga...gusto ko nang sumabog...d ko na kaya..FUCK!...nung nawala ung fone ko its like loosing the whole me over again...un ung pinakalast personal thing na nagdudugtong sakin at sa buhay ko noon and now its gone...ano ibig sabihin nun?im stuck here forever...im gonna be spending my whole life trying to fit in...simple lang naman gusto ko eh..ganun na ba kahirap ibigay ung simple ngaun?...fuck them! fuck YOU for putting me in this situation...lahat na ata ng pwedeng ma-blame, na blame ko na..and yet naiipon pa rin ung galit sa loob2...hindi ko kasi mailabas..puro iyak nalang na puro ako lang naman ung nakakaalam...fuck!...wala man lang nakakakita nung ako na naghihirap inside....syet!...gusto ko nalang mamatay..para tapos na lahat...ayoko na talaga...

Persecution Prediction

Look at me. Pain oozing
through pores of self-denial.
Lost in pain like a deserted
isle. I haven't been happy
in quite a while.

Falling down into the limbo of
contradiction. Confused by
the human condition. Pain
now is my only addiction.

Looking into the smoke.
Looking through the joke. A
smile stirred the beast and a
kiss, it awoke. Take it all
away with a single toke, the
fires of my personal hell I'll
stoke.

I'm going to die tonight. I'm
going to end this tragic
blight. Put an end to this
curse of sight and plunge
myself into the night. I do
it because I can no longer
make things right.

A gun to the head, and all
the pain is dead. Wishing
for all the words I should
have said. I pull the trigger
and in this instant death and
I wed.